Reality TV Concepts

Looking to kill some time? Then check out these crazy reality TV ideas! Every day I will add a new, probably over the top, concept for a reality TV show; I figure there is no way I can do much worse than what is already on TV. Remember, this all just for fun (unless of course one of my ideas is picked up by a television network, in which case I expect some compensation), so do not be offended by anything. Enjoy!

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Hitchhiker

Who hasn't wanted to take a nice, long vacation and just travel the U.S. to see what there is to see (if your hand is up, put it down and go apply to be on San Quentin). The problem is always the time and money issue. Well, if you have got the time, money should not be a problem. Why? Because, as the name of the show implies, you will be hitchhiking.

Five contestants will compete to be the first to successfully hitchhike across America, stopping at designated checkpoints along the way. The checkpoints will take them from the Northeast (Maine) to the South (Florida), then through the Midwest (Illinois), over to the Northwest (Oregon) to the Southwest (Southern California). The contestants will be timed from one checkpoint to another, with the contestant who has the shortest total time being the winner. Top prize is $250,000.

To keep the contestants from completely starving during the trip, they will be given an allowance of $20 a day, but they can only use the money for food and clothing; it may not be used to pay for a cab, a bus ticket, or for any other means of transportation. They will also be supplied with a rain poncho and a small tent and a warm blanket, in case they have to spend the night outside. At each checkpoint they will be able to spend the night in a hotel and will be provided with dinner and breakfast for free. Once they arrive at the checkpoint, the contestants have until noon the following day before the clock starts for them to be on their way to the next checkpoint. If a contestant shows up after midnight, they have until noon of the following day before the clock starts again.

So, if you are too busy and poor to tour the country yourself, be sure to tune in and watch Hitchhiker. At least you will be able to see what you are missing.

Friday, August 06, 2004

DMZ

Here is one for you hardcore mercs out there (as I am certain plenty of mercenaries frequently view this blog).

Ten mercenary squads will have the challenge of crossing the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea. The first squad to successfully cross will win $2,000,000. Any other squad to make it across will win $500,000. Obviously my expectations for success are low. Squads will start on the South Korean side. They will be allowed to use any weaponry they see fit, but will have to furnish it themselves. Since I doubt there is a camera crew in the world crazy enough to tag along with a mercenary squad through the DMZ, let alone ten crews for ten squads, each squad will be furnished a camera and will be required to do their own videotaping. No prize will be rewarded if a squad crosses but has no video or an insignificant amount of video. This is a TV show after all.

Mercenaries with any and all experience are welcome. It might even be fun. But fun in a really intense, get a babysitter for the kids and leave them at home, type of way.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Mother Knows Best

They say a mother always knows her own child. Mother Knows Best will test that theory.

Twelve mothers will have their new born babies taken without ever having seen them. Once they are released from the hospital they will be given a different baby every 24 hours until they have cared for each baby for one day. At the end of the twelve days, they will guess which baby is actually their own. If they guess correctly, they win $50,000. No matter what though, they will receive $5,000 for participating.

Be sure to catch all of the heart wrenching and heart warming excitement on Mother Knows Best!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Street Evangelist

Christianity seems to have a bit of a monopoly when it comes to crazy street evangelists. Maybe people would be more inclined to listen if they had something else offered to them. That is exactly what Street Evangelist intends to do.

Five people will create their own original religion and preach it on the streets of Los Angeles, California. Why there? Because people will buy into anything there. The street evangelist who has converted the most people by the show's finale is the winner. A convert is defined as someone who will either help preach their religion on the street or will hand out pamphlets to people passing by. The evangelists will also be allowed to put out a collection jar; in the event of a tie, the evangelist who has collected the most money will be declared the winner. The prize is $100,000.

Be sure to watch a bunch of gullible idiots be had on Street Evangelist. Coming this fall! (Not really, but you can imagine.)

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Stuntman

Why do people watch action movies? Generally speaking, the acting is sub-par and the plot is usually thin enough that it would not be excused in any other movie genre, save for porn. So again I ask, why do people watch action movies? They watch them for the explosions and car wrecks. They watch them for the action. But when things get hairy in action movies, the action movie star normally takes five while the stunt man comes in to do the often thankless grunt work. While it is time they got their due.

On Stuntman, fifteen different up-and-coming stuntmen will compete for a job on an upcoming action blockbuster. Each week the stuntmen will have to perform a different stunt; the one who performs the worst will be eliminated. The stunts will include things like car wrecks (both crashing into things and flipping them), being set on fire, having to fall from great heights, and other standard action movie stunts.

So if you love action movies, but are tired of the stone-faced, emotionless acting in between explosions and gunfights, be sure to watch Stuntman.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Super-Size Me!

Have you ever noticed how reality TV tends to be thin and attractive disproportionate to the real world? And sure it is fun to see how gaunt people get by the end of Survivor, but the novelty of that has worn off. It is time for a change. It is time for Super-Size Me!

Five athletic, single men and five athletic, single women will compete for one month to see who can gain the most weight. The person who gains the most weight wins $100,000. This may seem like an easy enough competition, but there will be some temptations. The contestants will be staying at a beach resort, equipped with a full gym, sauna, and a beautiful beach - places often filled with attractive people. Remember, all of the contestants are single, and if they want to hook up with anyone during this month, it is going to be tougher than normal for them to do so if they are thirty pounds overweight. And all of the contestants are athletic and fit too; they would have to have jobs like an aerobics instructor or personal trainer to get on the show. Getting fat goes against their nature and is the opposite of what they help others do every day.

Contestants would be provided buffets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Between meals, they will be provided with fast food at their request. Every few days, the contestant who has gained the most weight will be awarded with jug of powder to make weight-gaining protein shakes.

Fat is where it's at on Super-Size Me!

Sunday, August 01, 2004

San Quentin

Five million dollars. Here it is numerically - $5,000,000. Not $1,000,000 or $2,000,000, but $5,000,000. Now that is a big prize. But that big of a prize does not come easily. In order to win the $5,000,000, you must outlast twelve other competitors. You must outlast twelve other competitors by staying in San Quentin State Prison longer than them.

There really are not many rules to this show. The contestants placed in San Quentin will simply have to survive and endure; they can quit at any time they please. They are not allowed to hire inmates to take out their competition, and they are not allowed to kill anyone (it sounds extreme, but they are in an extreme place). If they can find someone to offer them protection from other inmates, that is fine. If they have to become somebody's sexual outlet to get that protection (if they are lucky enough to make that decision themselves), that is within the confines of the rules. If they need to join a prison gang, they are free to do so. They just cannot break the rules stated earlier, or bribe inmates with anything other than what they can obtain in San Quentin (for example, cigarettes). The last contestant remaining without quitting is the winner.

Contestant will have to be extremely tough, both mentally and physically, to endure this show. They cannot have served any time in prison or in jail either; this may provide an unfair advantage. They cannot know anyone in San Quentin, as this also would provide an unfair advantage.

So, if your record is clean, and you think you are one tough s.o.b., feel free to apply. The prize is big, but the road to it is terrible.